New blood.

My boss filled the open position we had at work last week. We shall call the new blood "Lady". She is an older woman and as sweet as she can be, but I don't think she has had a lot of time with a computer. Training is slow-going, though she is eager to learn. This whole week, D is on vacation, leaving Lady and myself to work everyday. Lady just started last Friday so she can't do much other than make an appointment and dispense contact lens supplies; it's been so crazy for me and it is only Wednesday morning. I probably look like a chicken with its head cut off, but at least I will be making bank for the next pay check.

In times of high stress at work, there are several things that will calm my nerves:
(P.S. I am not a complete lazy bum, I make sure to do my work first, but that doesn't take too long...)

(1) I like to doodle. Did you know that? I am always doodling on post-its at work and even have a facebook album of the (better) drawings. Doing any kind of artsy thing helps me calm down. I suppose because I concentrate solely on the project at hand that I forget about the stressful event that is sucking the soul from my body.

I need a little help... what else should I try to draw?!

(2) Sudokuuu. This is one addiction in which there is no cure... even if there was, I would never want to be cured. I whip out my phone and play any chance I get. Again, when I play, I only think about the game, freeing me from the bondage of stress that my job (read: patients/coworkers) give me. I can finish a game in less than 2 minutes now.

I would have to thank my brudder for giving me my first taste of game; after that first win, I just couldn't stop. Every day, I would add one more win than the day before until I got to where I am now: playing whenever, wherever. I even use it to help me drift into sleep at night. Oh yeeeaah.

(3) I could seperate this next one, but it is more prudent to lump it as a whole: the internet. Yahoo is my news outlet choice as well as "celeb gossip" (on OMG!). I stumble like crazy on particularly slow days. And, of course, I use blogger for posting or reading other blogs.

Speaking of blogs, my friend Taylor is in Sweden for four months playing and coaching softball and she started a blog to tell of her daily life there. It's very interesting and fun to keep up with. You should check it out! (CLICK HERE to do so... and become a follower!) I would greatly appreciate it and I am sure she would love your support. :)

(4) Texting. What better way is there to calm your nerves than having a conversation with a friend and pretending like you're not even at work? (Answer: there's not one.)

Movies seen in theaters: 29
DvDs bought: 62

NaNoWriMo Day 10

Yes, the truth is that it is day 10 and I am far behind from where I need to be in my word count. So, instead of dwelling on that horrifying fact, I am going to tell you about my day 9.

Yesterday, I did not type one word towards my goal. All day at work, I sat in a daydream. Usually, when I'm not having to do actual work, I read other blogs, check my stats, text, or play on my phone or iPod. Yesterday, though, I hardly did any of the above. I mean, I did check Facebook and my blog stats a few times, and maybe texted a little, but for most of the day, I found busy work to do or just stared out of our front door. Matt asked me several times what was wrong, but I never really had an answer. I was just tired, I guess.

Towards the end of the work day, I decided I wanted to go see a movie. I needed to spend some time not in my world, time away from thinking about my book. Leah met up with me and we saw MegaMind. It was funny; a really cute movie. We got home around 10:45 I think. Maybe 11? Not really sure. But when I got home, I sat in my bed and opened my Mac so that I could start writing, even if only for a little while. Somehow, I ended up laying down, and as soon as my head hit the pillow, I was out.

I woke up at 2 something. My big light was still on and I will still wearing my clothes and contacts. Also, I was laying in a really weird position and my entire body felt tense.

What woke me up was the dream I had during that short period of time. I dreamt that everything I started, I couldn't finish for whatever reason; people kept coming in or tragedies were occuring or I just didn't think I could finish whatever it was. I was so frustrated.

I am pretty sure stress about finishing this book has finally gotten to me. I keep analyzing every detail I put into it and worry that it doesn't sound good or isn't interesting. I think that is what is keeping me back the most. Even though no one else is reading it, or has read it, I can not stop worrying how awful it is.

It's hard for me to just keep writing because I take anything that I do so seriously. I want to always be great at what I do and the truth is, I may not be. But even so, I set out doing this for fun and because I have always wanted to write a book. I wish I could take the advice I keep telling myself and "just write; don't worry about the details and flow of the book, you can fix it later." It's so hard though.

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Here is a list of why I am already stressed today:
1. I have a ton of laundry that NEEDS to be done tonight so I can
2. Pack my bags for this weekend.
3. I NEED to clean out my nasty car because
4. Ash and I are leaving for North Augusta tomorrow after work.
5. We start our new Bible study tonight with our small group.
6. I have to run to Walmart for necessities.
7. I am so far behind in my word count that it's embarrassing. I need to type SOMETHING tonight.
8. And, there are some other personal things I could add to this list, but I won't.

Poor planning, Cassie. I am very disappointed.