LINX

There are only a few hours left until 2011... so, if you get antsy from waiting, here are some links (websites, videos, pictures, etc.) to occupy your time. (Because I know you aren't celebrating. Come on, who does that?!) ;)


failblog

failbook

engrish

crayons 

UGLY 

questions 

word lens 

how to be alone 

tweet tweet 

post secret 

dear blank please blank 

41 accents 

2 guys 600 pillows

human pacman

parody #1 & parody #2 & parody #3 

gangsta HP 

everything 

defying physics 

treadmills 

sand 1  and  sand 2 

nope it's soap

to make you even lazier

average

mlihp

Hope everyone has a safe and happy new year!

Twenty Ten.

Well it's that time of year again. TV and radio stations are looking back on 2010 and making lists of the best and worst of pop culture and music. I love lists so naturally, I love these countdowns and what not. So, I am going to give you a few quick lists of my year:

This that have happened to me in 2010:
-Started this here blog.
-Turned 21.
-Wrote (most of) a novel.
-Wrote multiple short stories.
-Took up painting/drawing for fun.
-Gambled for the first time.
-Started various other arts and crafts projects.
-Became more aware of things about myself that I used to overlook.
-Failed at planning a short vacation.
-Took a sucessful vacation that was not planned by me.
-Read the Hunger Games series and fell in love with it.
-Checked quite a few things off of a "Summer Bucket List".
-Talked to Travis Clark on the phone.
-Finally switched to a cell phone with internet access.
-Became an owner of a MacBook Pro.
-Touched an iceburg.
-Tried to start vlogging. Only made two videos. Two awful videos.
-Hiked 10 miles.
-Changed two tires.
-Read an entire book within 24 hours.
-Worked on Emmaus.
-Won NaNoWriMo.
-Did some other awesome stuff that I can't remember right now. :)

Favorite songs that came out in 2010 in no particular order:
-Goodnight Moon by Go Radio
-Need You Now by Lady Antebellum
-The Art of Letting Go EP by AJ Cheek (amazing songs!)
-Airplanes by B.o.B feat. Hayley Williams
-Love Like Woe by The Ready Set
-Teenage Dream by Katy Perry
-Love the Way You Lie by Eminem feat. Rihanna
-Just the Way You Are by Bruno Mars
-The Only Exception by Paramore
-Grenade by Bruno Mars
-My First Kiss by 3OH!3 feat. Ke$ha
-Club Can't Handle Me by Flo Rida feat. David Guetta
-Haven't Met You Yet by Michael Buble
-Firework by Katy Perry
-Last Kiss by Taylor Swift
-Long Live by Taylor Swift
-King of Anything by Sara Bareilles
-Sam Tsui in general. I love everything he covers.
-Raise Your Glass by Pink
-Forget You by Cee-Lo
-Magic by B.o.B. feat. Rivers Cuomo
-Mine by Taylor Swift
-Dear John by Taylor Swift
-Half of My Heart by John Mayer
-Wavin' Flag by K'naan
-Glee!
I am sure there are more, but I have listed more than enough for now.

Things I would like to do in 2011:
-Finish writing my current novel or start and finish a different one.
-Vlog. At least take a legitimate stab at it.
-Read the all of the Narnia books and the rest of the HP series.
-Figure out what to do with my life.
-Read the Bible the entire way through.
-Solve a Rubik's Cube without the help of YouTube/instructions.
-Watch the Lord of the Rings Trilogy.
-Increase my DVD collection to 560 (currently at 280) so it will be doubled.
-Find a new job.
-Complete BEDA.
-Fill every page of the journal that Padge made for me.
-Be more decisive.
-Move. To a different state entirely; or at the very least, to a new house/apt.
I suppose I will add to the list as I go.

Blogwise, I am going to start keeping a running count of a few things. That will start on January 1st. It will be interesting to see the numbers rise throughout the entire year.


December is almost over. Bring on a new year.

Happy Birthday, Ace!

On this day 23 years ago, after a much failed attempt to steal Jesus' thunder by being born on His birthday, Ashley made her way into this world. She tried her hardest to come out the day before, but missed it only by a few hours. Her reasoning: to be "an actual Christmas present because she is God's second gift to this world." (Those were her first words.) Luckily, for our sakes, God did not allow that to happen, so her day lies in the shadows of our Savior. Go God!

Now, she is forced to be overlooked this time of year because her existence is so insignificant. Therefore, if you remember later today (you can put it low on your list of priorities), give her a nod or smile and just be friendly. If you really want to make her day special, throw in a "oh, is it your birthday?" or a "you're how old?!" She will be so glad that she was even thought of.

******

Today, Ashley turns 23.

Yes, you read that correctly:

TWENTY FREAKING THREE.

The most famous and most quoted of the Psalms is number 23: "The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: He leadeth me beside the still waters."

The nuclei of cells in human bodies have 23 pairs of chromosomes.

Julius Caesar was stabbed 23 times.

23 is one of the most commonly cited prime numbers.

The number 23 has been the subject of two films.

23rdians are a group of people who subscribe to the mystical power of 23 and see it in multiple combinations throughout daily life.

The best basketball player that ever lived (Michael Jordan) wore number 23 throughout his entire career.

******

Did you realize Jared Leto shares your birthday?! He was born in 1971. Also sharing your birthday are Lars Ulrich from Metallica (1963), Chris Daughtry (1979), John Walsh - the host from America's Most Wanted (1945), and Mao Tse-tung - a communist in China (1893).

Today is the 360th day of 2010. In 1776 during the Revolutionary War, the British were defeated in the Battle of Trenton. In 1862, four nuns serving as volunteer nurses on board USS Red Rover are the first female nurses on a U.S. Navy hospital ship. FM radio was patented in 1933. This day, in 1941, is the day that FDR signed a bill establishing the fourth Thursday in November as Thanksgiving Day. In 1982, the first non-human was named Man of the Year by Time Magazine. What was it, you ask? A computer. This only begs the argument that the world will one day be taken over by robots. Today would be the start of Boxing Day, but since it's Sunday, it will be deferred until tomorrow.

Okay, enough of the history lesson... I just wanted to tell you how proud I am to call you my sister. You are an amazing Christian, sister, and friend. I don't know what I would do without you. You have always been such a great sister to me, looking out for me when I needed it. I only hope I can be half of a good sister as you. I love you so much!

AND, for your enjoyment, watch this on behalf of her birthday! :)

Happy Birthday, Ace!

Merry Christmas!

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas!

I was going to put together a video of Cody and Dad being hilarious in the snow that arrived this morning but alas, the videos did not send correctly to my email. If I get it working, I will be sure to share it with you all.

I am so thankful that God blessed the world with His son, Jesus; and I am even more thankful that He gave His only son to be my Savior. What a gracious God we serve.

For unto you is born this day 

in the city of David a Saviour, 

which is Christ the Lord. 

Luke 2:11

Mars, Stars, Cars and.... Harry Potter.

As each day passes, I grow more and more in love with Bruno Mars and his sexy voice. (However, I prefer not to look at him. He sounds better than he looks.) Haha. He is one of the better artists on the radio right now. I don't know why radio stations feel the need to play Lady Gaga, Ke$ha, and Rihanna over and over again. I wish they would disappear from the entertainment world altogether... move to Montana and become school teachers or something. They're beyond aggravating. It's the reason I prefer listening to my iPod in the car.

I am discovering some great stuff on my iPod that I didn't really know existed. Don't you just love that, hearing a song that has been in your reach for months and months and one day you just happened to listen to it and it completely blows you away? It's like I was the first ever to hear it, even though I know that is False. (Yes, with a capital f.) But still, I like discovering my own music.

In other entertainment news, I saw The Town last night per Cody's suggestion, and it was thrilling! I was on edge pretty much the entire movie. Ben Affleck - what a fine specimen. I knew he was good looking and all, but his kick-butt character in this film made me rethink the category I had him under. He personifies every girl's bad boy fantasy in The Town. I now want my own sweet but tough bank robber. :P

Speaking of bad boys with brooding muscles, the 5th installment of the Fast and the Furious franchise is coming out next year. In my opinion, there are one too many of these films. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love them (with the exception of Tokyo Drift) with every movie-thriving-fiber that I have, but I don't want them to run this franchise into the ground. Know what I mean?

Anyway, I do have to say that this new one, Fast Five, looks action packed, thrilling, and downright awesome. Hopefully, though, this will be the last. I am excited to see that everyone, and I mean everyone, has returned to be in this film! Vin Diesel. Need I say more? ;) Paul Walker - the charm of a boy with the rebel without a cause attitude. Gotta love that. Tyrese Gibson - one of my favorite comic relief characters of all time. Funny, funny man. And, of course, the others have returned as well. The Rock is also in this one. I am not too sure how I feel about that. I kind of wished they would have brought in a name that is not as widely known, but whatev. It will be epic no matter what.

In unrelated news, my week definitely improved when my brotha got in town yesterday. He always knows how to brighten my day. We exchanged our Christmas presents and I would have to say that he won the "Best Present Ever Given" award. I gave him the Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows XBox 360 game, which is a pretty nice gift... but he gave me a Harry Potter Film Wizardry book. It. Is. Amazing. It holds information about the entire film franchise and the wizarding world itself as seen through Jo Rowling's eyes. There is a sketch of an aerial view of Hogwarts and the surrounding areas that was drawn by Jo in one of the first meetings with the producers and directors. There are also inserts including the Marauder's Map, Yule Ball invitation, Quidditch World Cup Programme, and an acceptance letter to Hogwarts School. I am taking my time and carefully reading every single word because this world of magic really does have me under a spell. What would we be without our imagination and the ability to dream? I hold this series very close to my heart. Being able to explore the world in this way brings me joy. :)

If I don't see you all before then, I hope you all have an amazing Christmas! Don't forget the reason for the season.
Jesus is love.

I've opened up the doors.

When I was younger, so much younger than today,
I never needed anybody's help in anyway.
But now these days are gone, I'm not so self assured,
Now I find I've changed my mind, I've opened up the doors.

-The Beatles

Warning: this will probably be a depressing/moody post because it's that time of the month where I feel crappy and worthless if you catch my drift. Continue if you think you can handle it. If not, then click here for merriment. Whatev.


I would try to discuss this with some of my close friends in person, but I find it easier to organize my thoughts through typing. So, lets just make it a group discussion, shall we?


I have hardly written anything since I wrote about my singleness. I think this is because ever since I outwardly expressed how much it sucks to be alone (even when surrounded by people), I have felt the hard hitting blow of the reality of it. Before I discussed those same topics out loud to a friend, I think I pushed all of the reality of it back into the farthest and darkest corner of my mind that I could find. And that worked for me. I never gave myself the chance to really deal with it. But, since that conversation that sparked that certain post, reality has hit me from every angle. I am having to deal with the suppression of that feeling. I don't think I have ever felt more alone as I have in these past couple of weeks.


As far as I can recall, nothing has really changed from before I verbally talked about it. I am just becoming more aware of it. It is really taking a toll on me mentally. 


A week ago from last night, I actually had a panic attack. Here is exactly what happened: It was Sunday, so I went to church and lunch with my friend and his family. After lunch, I came home to sleep off a terrible migraine I had. I ended up sleeping for about three hours. When I woke up, I decided to go see the new Narnia movie. I went alone because two of my friends had already seen it and the other two had to wait on someone else to see it, as they promised. So, I was fine with going alone. I have done it plenty of times. Anyway, when the movie was over, I came home to find my roommate wrapping presents. I wasn't in much of a mood to discuss anything, plus I still had a migraine, so I told her I was going to bed. As I layed in bed, I realized I wasn't really that tired, so I turned on my computer and watched videos on YouTube. After a little while, I decided I could try to fall asleep again. I layed down and turned the lights off, planning to drift on into a dreamless sleep so I could just rest. My body had other plans. I was seriously almost asleep when my heart started pounding and my eyes started shedding tears out of nowhere. It wasn't too long until I wasn't able to breathe very well. I was only able to take in about five of the tiniest breaths before exhaling what little was ready to come out of my lungs. I tried taking deep breaths to calm myself down but it was no help. After about forty-five minutes, I finally texted a friend for help. (I wasn't too fond of the idea at first because I thought I could handle it and I didn't really want to burden anyone with this..) He tried to calm me down for a while but it was to no avail. After about thirty minutes, I could feel his words and suggestions starting to help a little, but not much. I eventually got myself to calm down and go to sleep by listening to the song that forever has my heart and a new, just as amazing favorite of mine. It was a bad night.


When we were texting, my friend was asking me what was going on so he could help me through it, but I was a little too embarrassed to confess what I was feeling. It seemed silly and I didn't want to seem like I was overreacting. Looking back, I should have just said something, it probably would have helped to talk about it.


Anyway, it was the feeling of being alone that attacked me. I am not always alone, I mean I do hang out with my friends when they can, but most days, I go to work and I come home and find a one person project to do or I go out and find something slightly more interesting than sitting home alone. I enjoy some alone time, but this is starting to get old. It has me thinking of drastic changes; like moving. Now, if you know me personally, you know I will talk to death about moving. There are plenty of times where I have talked the talk but nothing has come of it. (The only time it actually happened was when I graduated high school. I moved here, to TN.) But nonetheless, I seriously consider it and even try to convince myself to follow through. Don't get me wrong, that is not the only solution I have thought of/tried to do to deal with it. I have been relentlessly talking with God about it (well, I have done most of the talking, which I know needs to change) and I have talked with a few close friends about it, but still... nothing. And even when I do get an opportunity to be around a friend, sometimes I just want to pass it up and be alone because I already feel that way... it does nothing to help the situation.


I guess the reason for this depressing and seemingly "pity me" spurt of a blog is to ask you all, how do I go about coping/dealing with all of this emotional baggage? It is getting to be too much and it's eating up my thoughts. So, help me...please?

Dream a little dream of me.

Let's see, since I last posted, I have gone to Murfreesboro to visit one of my best friends, he has come home for a weekend, I have only bought two Christmas presents, and I still haven't painted the canvases I bought in mid-November.

Wow, 12 days has been reduced to one long sentence. I need to be more productive with my time. A new project, maybe? I suppose I could finish the one I haven't touched since November... but I don't know if it's worth continuing.

---

I suppose I can entertain you with this...

The dreams I have at night are so vivid. It's like I am watching a movie. Most of the time, they are all kinds of crazy. Off the wall crazy. And completely random. Want proof? Here are some of the dreams I have had in the past week or so:

1. I was on the Hogwarts Express with all of my real friends; apparently I was the Harry Potter type character in this scenario, but I was still myself. We were on the way to Hogwarts for the start of another term. All of a sudden, the train was being attacked by Death Eaters... they were after me. My friends and I pulled out our wands and began defensive spells against what the Death Eaters were trying to do to us.  Cody yelled for me to run because there was an opening for an escape. As I was running towards the door, Bellatrix appeared and blocked my way. I attacked her before she could attack me and the spell I cast left her lying still on the floor. I turned to my right and there was another Death Eater with a mask on. As I start to cast a spell, the Death Eater spoke up and told me to stop... it was Bubba's voice. He told me he used polyjuice potion to become one of them so he could help protect me from the rest of the Death Eaters. What a smart guy. As I hurried towards the escape door, I turned to look at what I was leaving behind: a train car full of my friends risking their lives to protect me. The battle was brutal.

2. I was out Christmas shopping with Cody, Ash, and Mom at a mall. We were in what seemed like Aeropostale when these two girls came in and started looking around. They seemed smitten with Cody. Go figure. They were kind of keeping their eye on him so I told him about it and dared him to go talk to them. And, of course, he did. After a few minutes, he came back over to me and brought the two girls along. One of them happened to be Sarah Palin's sixteen year old daughter, Willow. So, naturally, her and Cody started dating and over time, Sarah invited us to go to a beach house that they owned in Florida. We went and were sitting on the beach at night when I got Cody alone and we started talking. Here is our conversation:
Me: "Cody, this is awesome! I am so glad you are dating Willow."
Cody: "Yeah, I don't know if I want to anymore, though."
Me: "Why not? I love her!"
Cody: "She is getting kind of annoying."
Me: "Cody, don't break up with her yet! We could go to Alaska!!"
And that is all I cared about.

3. I started out sitting around a table outside of a cafe in the middle of a discussion with three other people. Though, I wasn't saying much, just observing really. These three men were talking about exorcisms and how each of them performed one. Two of the men had only subtle differences between their process. The third man didn't seem too confident in his process but he swore up and down that he could do it. Someone walking by stopped and turned towards him. In a scary, demonic voice the passerby challenged him to do it. On himself. Whoever this passerby was had been possessed. The third man agreed in a shaky voice to perform the exorcism. Somehow, I was volunteered to be in the room with the third man and the possessed man. We walked into an old building and down a dark stairway. As we walked into the poorly lit room, the third man locked the door behind us. The only light we had was from a single light bulb hanging down in the center of the cold, damp room. The third man and I stood near a wall opposing the possessed man. He had his Bible in hand and began shaking, as did I. The possessed man began to taunt us and call the third man names, telling him there was no way he would be able to make him come out of this man's body. The third man started his process but was getting nowhere. As he kept trying, the possessed man kept looking more and more like a demon. There really is no other way to describe it. It was scary. The third man pulled out a camera and told me he needed to take a picture of this for some reason. As he put the camera up to his right eye, he covered the left eye with his hand. I asked him why he was doing that, and he said "You'll see." I closed my eyes, scared for my life and opened them again when I heard the man beside me yell. I looked at his face and not only was his right eye blood red, but he had a long, red slash mark from the top center of his forehead down to his neck. He had been badly burned when he took that picture. I turned to look at the possessed man and saw bright red, glowing eyes looking directly at me, like he was trying to see in my soul.

I woke up after that last part and had to go sleep in my roommate's bed with her because I was that scared. It seemed so real.


I don't much feel like typing anymore dreams at the moment, so I will wait and tell you some more later on.

Hope you all are having a great December so far... Christmas is only 10 days away! :)

Table for One, Please.

Being single sucks. It sucks up one side and down the other.

Not that I don't talk about relationships with my friends because I do, but I don't think I have hardly ever talked with them about my actual singleness. So, this is kind of weird for me to just put out there on my blog, but I thought maybe someone else needs to hear what I have realized.

It's not that I wouldn't trust my friends with this conversation, it's just that most of them are at a different point in their life and therefore can not relate. God bless them for trying to relate and wanting me to seek that kind of happiness, but it is hard for them to understand exactly what I am going through. Most of them are in relationships that are just starting to get serious, are at the point of talking about marriage, or are already married. And I am not trying to belittle their relationships, I think it is wonderful that they are all so happy. God has really blessed them at this time in their lives and I am so incredibly happy for them.

For me, though, I am still in the growing and learning phase of my life. I have had a total of three very short term relationships. And when I say short term, I mean short term (one lasted 1 month; two lasted 3 months each). I am no guru when it comes to dating or relationships. However, I can give insight to the single life - more specifically, my single life - and how to find joy in it.

The hardest part about being single is the alone feeling that I get sometimes. It's not a constant thing, but when I am out with my coupled friends, I get that alone in the crowd feeling. I am the type of person that is content with having alone time, but when it happens a lot in a certain amount of time, it gets to be too much. That is when I have to surround myself with friends and it is all okay again. My friends really are my saving grace. They keep me in check with most areas of my life and I am very grateful for that.

The waiting is also hard. I like to think that I can be patient, but on December 26, it will have been four years since I ended my last relationship. That is a lot of waiting. But the waiting doesn't just consist of me sitting down and watching the world pass by me in a blur. I have had many opportunities for so many things that I probably wouldn't have gone through with if I was in a serious relationship. I don't think I would have been as adventurous at trying new things because I wouldn't have had as much time. Through these opportunities, I have learned so much about who I am and have gotten so comfortable in my own skin. I have thoroughly enjoyed exploring new areas of my life and finding my passions. I am, of course, still learning and growing, but I feel like I know what I want and what I won't settle for.

I have never been one to date just to be dating someone. I feel that letting someone get close enough to you that they know almost everything about you is an intimate and sacred thing. I can guard my heart with the best of them. Being alone for so long has made me a strong person when it comes to protecting myself. I believe this will pay off in the end because when the time does come for me to settle down with someone, they will get to experience a part of me that no one else has before.

Also, I am terrified of the commitment. In a world full of divorce being so easy to turn to and heartbreak being inevitable, commiting fully to someone is a scary thing. I have seen what divorce does first hand and it is not something I ever want to do, so you better believe that I will be very picky and cautious about who I let in. I have also seen heartbreak that has emotionally and physically brought down someone that I love. Trust me, without the Lord and the new friend He brought into her life at that time, she would not have gotten through it. Heartbreak like that can leave scars if it is not properly tended to and healed. That new friend not only became her shoulder to cry on and a source from which she heard God speak, but they are now dating. So I know that it's not the end of the world when heartbreak happens, but still... it is a scary possibility that I would rather not happen if I can help it.

I am not at all against getting to know someone and then deciding if there is potential there, but I am not seeking it. It will happen when it happens.  

For now, I am content with being single even though it does get hard. God is still working on me as a person and I want to be the best person I can for who He has for me. And in the tough times in which I feel the lonliness, I know He is right there with me wanting me to lean on Him, wanting me to tell Him exactly what I am feeling, and wanting me to let Him fill the emptiness that is there; He is always in pursuit of me, even when it feels like no one else is. In return, I know whoever it is that God has for me is being worked on as well. I have been praying for him for years and years and I know God is preparing him for me, which is no easy task. I can be quite complicated... it's something I am working on. ;)

In another aspect, God does place a calling for certain people to be single throughout their life. It's not in a way to make that person feel alone, but it is to be their ministry. He knows they can handle being single and that they can use it to win others for His Kingdom. But, if that desire for a spouse is in your heart, you are most likely not supposed to be single forever. The desire is there for a reason.

If you can take nothing else from this, please remember this: God has a purpose and plan for your singleness. It may seem like you will never find that one person who will complete you and that is because you are not supposed to; God is the only one who can complete the person that you are. Just seek after His heart fully and without ceasing because He is waiting to bless you with the most amazing person you never knew could exist. In the heart of God is where you will find "the one" waiting.

NanoWriMo Day 30 - The End!

November is finally over which means I either reached 50,000 words... or I didn't. And I must break the news to you....

I made it!! :)

It has been a very stressful month because I get way too distracted by things. I kept putting off writing which is exactly what I told myself not to do before I even started. Next year, I will have to remember back to this day when I frantically had to type my fingers raw to reach my goal. It better not happen again, future Cassie. 

The novel I was writing is not nearly finished and is very rough around the edges, so I won't be letting anyone read the whole thing anytime soon. I don't even know if I will finish it in the immediate future. We'll see.

I have thought of another story that could be turned into a novel... but I highly doubt I will be starting that for a long while. I think I want to step away from my novel for a bit. Maybe pick it back up after the new year.

Though, I think it will be weird going from stressing about my word count everyday to not having to worry anymore. Even when I wasn't writing because I was being distracted, I felt completely and entirely guilty for not writing. It ate at my nerves. I may have to get readjusted back to pre-NaNo life. Haha.

Anyways, I have a new challenge for myself: mastering the art of Rubik's. Cube, that is. Cody brought one with him over Thanksgiving break and kept figuring it out. It made him look like a genius. I want to look like a genius, too. :)

Well, I am signing off tonight, on the last day of November, as a new author. See you in December. ;)

NanoWriMo Day 28

Well guys, I'm failing miserably at reaching my goal. I have not written anything in days. My family and a friend came into town for Thanksgiving break so I just could not get myself to sit and write. 


I am not blaming their presence for my slack, that is totally on me. Once I started slipping away, I just kept finding reasons to put it off even longer. Cassie, you should be ashamed.


However, I had so much fun this past week. Brandy and Mat came for Thanksgiving from West Virginia; Cody, Mom, and Dad came from South Carolina; Bubba came from Murfreesboro; plus, I had the rest of my extended family already in town.


Tuesday is when everyone came to Chattanooga. Brandy and Mat arrived first. We went to lunch and then Hobby Lobby so B could do some Christmas decor shopping. We then headed back to Pawpaw's house because Cody and Mom arrived. After hanging out for a while with them, I went to Bubba's house for Knox's 1st birthday party where I got to hang out with the Johnson's, Mary Kathleen, and tons of other people for a while. It was great; I love being around all of them. I then went to my aunt and uncle's house, where I found out that my uncle Brad is one of my biggest fans. [I love you, Brad! :) ]


Wednesday, after working half a day, Cody and I went to Panera for a while. I was supposed to be writing and he was supposed to be reading, but we ended up just talking, laughing, and watching youtube videos. Typical. ;) Then we went with Ash, Brandy, Bubba, and Jacob to River City Pottery (I think that's the name of the place) where we painted different pottery pieces. It was so much fun. I can't wait to pick up our masterpieces in a few days! I want to go again soon.


Thursday was Thanksgiving so it was just a relaxing and food-filled day. We ate at Mawmaw's first and stayed there to hang out with family until it was time to go eat again at Pawpaw's. We stayed there the rest of the day until B, Cody, Mat, and I came back to my house. Bubba eventually came over that night. He, Cody, and I stayed up all night until we got ready to head out for Black Friday.


Which brings us to Friday. Us three and B left my house at 4 am to go pick up Ash. We love to see the craziness that happens on Black Friday; that is the main reason we venture out on this crazy day. We started at the mall; more specifically, outside of Victoria's Secret. There was a large crowd huddled around the closed door waiting to get in. Cody, the funny guy that he is, started a slow clap and counted down from ten when the workers went to open the door. It was hilarious... people in the crowd went along with him. After the doors opened, we pushed our way in and had a few laughs. People were going insane. I think many of them just grabbed a handful of whatever was near them and got in line because by the time we got towards the front of the store, there was already a few long lines at the checkout. At that point, we shoved our way out of the store. We then ate breakfast with Mom, Stacie, and Hali and walked around to browse through the stores. Eventually, Bubba, Cody and I split from the others and left the mall. We visited a few places: Guitar Center, Academy Sports, Old Navy, McKay's, Walmart, and GameStop; The only thing I ended up buying were a few movies from McKay's. We also sat in Starbucks for a while just talking, laughing, and enjoying our delicious drinks. We even ended up with a free White Chocolate Mocha. (I ditched my drink and took that one.)
After the long day of shopping (which ended while it was still morning), Cody and I went home and I took a much needed nap. Then it was time to get things ready for my Pawpaw's wedding. That's right, my grandpa got remarried. It was a very sweet ceremony. Mat actually got to marry Pawpaw and Myrna, so that was really cool. After the wedding and reception were over, Brandy and Mat had to depart. :( My siblings and I cried... it felt like it did when they moved away from us last year. It was just as hard to say goodbye this time as it was the first time. I didn't like it... I miss them all the time.
Later, Cody, Charles (my cousin), and I met my dad at Steak and Shake which was fun. It is always so funny when my dad and Cody get together. They are hilarious.


Saturday, I had to work. Bleh. Daddy left that morning so he came by my work to say goodbye. After work, Cody and I met up with Ash, Jake, and some of our friends for dinner. We left there and went to buy me a Rubik's cube (which I have yet to learn how to do). Cody has been playing with his all week and is getting faster and faster at solving it, so I am determined to learn. The Locke's invited us over so we went and played Mexican Dominoes with Mary Kathleen, Douglas, and Will. I have never lost so bad in my life. We played so that each player accumulated their own points (lowest number wins, largest number loses). I came in last place with 701 points. Pathetic. I think Will came in first with a double digit score.


Sunday (which would be today), I went to church and got to eat lunch with the Johnson's. Cody left at 8 this morning so I had to say bye to him before I even got ready for church. :( I wish he would move here. And, Bubba had to go back to school (boo) so we had to say our goodbyes today as well. He did get to make his stocking, though, to hang up in my house. Jacob made one too. So now, along with those two, Ash, Leah, Chris, and I have our stockings hanging in my living room. We put up our tree and other decorations and it is finally beginning to feel like Christmas. :)


Alright, enough rambling about this past week. Time for bed so I can get up and make money. ;)

Novel Excerpt

I have decided to be generous and share another excerpt from my book. This excerpt allows you to get to know a few of the characters a little bit.


Again, these events happen before the prologue happens.


To specifiy:
Brielle Porter is his friend.
Olivia is his girlfriend.
(There was confusion about who Porter was.
Riley will call Brie that sometimes.)


This is still in its rough stages... sorry for any typos or grammatical errors.


Enjoy!


---


"Riley Brooks Parker, why didn't you call me back last night?" Brielle asks me in her so-called threatening voice. "I told you I needed to talk to you."


She gives me a stern look as we stop at her locker on the way to Calculus.


"Sorry, Brie, the girlfriend called and you know I couldn't very well tell her I needed to call you instead of talking to her. She would kill me," I laugh.

"She sure does have you wrapped tightly around that dainty little finger of hers, doesn't she? And I highly doubt you two talked all night. You could have at least had the courtesy to let me know my news wasn't very high on your list of priorities for the night," the sarcasm pours out effortlessly.


"I told you I'm sorry, what else do you want me to say?" I ask, a little too pointedly.


"Nothing, Riley," she huffs. "But you did not have to avoid me all day. You knew it wouldn't last long until I finally caught up with you." Brie grabs her book and slams the locker door a bit harder than needed. But, I caught the eye roll. That usually means she has forgiven me and the argument is over.


"So, what was the news anyway?" I ask, curiously.


"Oh, nothing. It's not important anymore." She is still upset about something, I can tell. She is not too suave when it comes to hiding her emotions.

"Of course it is. Just tell me," I give her a cheesy smile, "Please?"


"Later. When I have enough time to tell you everything. I'd rather it be in person anyways. But it's not really news, just something I need to talk to you about."


Hm, must be important.


"Okay, whatever you say, Porter."


We sit down and get ready for class.

Brielle is my rock, my best friend. The connection we have is hard to put into words. It has been this way since we were first able to walk. Even back then, nothing could separate us. Though, it helps that we live next door to each other.


She is the only person that I can honestly count on. I have been let down so many times by so many people: my divorced parents, superficial friends, even dishonest authority figures that claim to have it all together. Brie is, in a word, good. Dependable, honest, reserved, kind, easy going, and beautiful on the inside and out.

We have been there for each other through our darkest times. She is the only one I can talk to about my parent's divorce. She understands that all I need is someone to be quick to listen and slow to speak. She doesn't try to diagnose my problems or fix them, Brie is just there for me. And when her mom passed away seven years ago, I made sure I was there when she needed a shoulder to cry on. We help pick each other up when we have fallen down and given up. I don't know where I'd be if I didn't have her by my side.


My girlfriend, Olivia, is Brie's opposite. Olivia is eccentric, loud, a talker, and a bit materialistic. I suppose it's the combination of her personality traits, but she doesn't get along with most people. I can even sense Brie's irritation with her at times. But, Olivia is fun. And I'm not trying to take things so seriously at my age. I'm a high school senior; this is the last year I really have to take it easy and just have fun with everything. And my girlfriend is no exception. I would never tell Brie that though, she would disapprove of my intentions.

Besides this calculus class, my school day is pretty easy. I actually do not mind being at school this year. I have most classes with Brie so that may have something to do with it also.

The class drags on until the bell finally announces the end of the school day.

Brie walks over to my desk, "So, do you think we could do something tonight? I can't even remember the last time we watched a movie together. I hear the new thriller is really good."


"Sorry, Porter, I'm actually taking Olivia to see it. She told me it was our seven month anniversary today. I told her we could have a date night."


And cue the sarcastic remark, "Ah, yes, the seven month anniversary. We all know how important that one is," she shakes her head.


"Well of course she wants to celebrate. What can I say? I'm a great catch," I reply with a wink and a smile.


"If your ego gets any bigger, you won't be able to fit through the door," she starts to walk away, "Call me when you can fit me into your busy schedule."


"Drama queen," I call out.


Her response is almost instant, "Narcissist."


Olivia goes to my school's rival so I won't see her until later when I pick her up for our date. My mom is not too fond of my girlfriend. For some reason, they clash and I can't exactly figure out why. Because of that, we don't spend much time at my house.

Olivia has only met my dad once. After the divorce, he moved to Seattle and he has only visited once a year since he moved there four years ago. I have only been there twice. I talk to him every now and then, but it's not like it used to be.


Things are different with Mom too. When we talk, we hardly go below the surface. I don't tell her about the things going on in my life because she tries to control it all. She also still does some of the things we used to do when her and Dad were together, like going to the movies on Sunday after church, Spaghetti Wednesdays, and she reads the Bible out loud every night in our living room. I know she misses my dad, but most of the time, she does those things alone because I gave up on those things when he gave up on her. She tries to live in the past, and I can not stand to watch the pain she goes through. She tries to convince me that she is fine and God has control of it all, but I do not believe it.


In fact, I don't go to church much anymore. I only go for the holidays like Easter and Christmas. I have seen too many disappointing things happen in my life to give praise to someone who let it all happen. I can't even forgive my parents for what they put me through, how could I forgive God?


Brie still goes to the church I used to go to, where my mom still goes. Every now and then she'll bring up something faith related but she knows not to push it with me, unlike my mom. Mom is always trying to get me to go to church or read the Bible again with her, but my heart just is not in it.



I pull up to the house and walk towards the front door. I can see Brielle about to walk into her house so I yell out to her, "Hey, Brie, how does tomorrow sound?"


"What is happening tomorrow?"


"Just me and you, renting a movie and watching it at your house. It will be like old times," I smile.


"Sounds good to me! Don't forget to bring the popcorn!" she yells.


"Like I could forget, I've been doing it practically my whole life," I tease.


"Have fun tonight. I'll see you later, Riley."


I rush upstairs to get ready for tonight. I am taking Olivia to dinner before the movie. Maybe I will take her to Tony's downtown. It's nice and romantic, she will love it.


By the time I finish my homework, shower, and throw on clothes, it is time to pick her up. I get in the car and head to her house.


Olivia's dad opens the front door and ushers me into the living room.


"She's not quite ready yet," he says, going back to reading his newspaper as I sit on the couch.


"She never is, is she?" I laugh.


"Now, that is a woman's prerogative, is it not?" Olivia asks, walking into the room.


"Oh, wow. Babe, you look beautiful," I stand and kiss her on the cheek.


"Thank you," she smiles and spins, "it's a new dress. I wanted to look good for my boyfriend tonight."


"More than good, you look radiant. Ready to head out?"


"I am," she grabs my hand and a jacket, "bye, Daddy. I'll be home later."


"Bye, you two. Have a good time," he never looks up from the paper.

I open the car door for Olivia. She stops and turns towards me, "Really, no flowers?"


Dang, "No, sorry. I didn't have time to stop anywhere."


"So, you didn't get me anything?" she asks, surprised.


"It's not exactly a gift kind of anniversary. We have only been dating for seven months," I explain.


She huffs and plops down in the passenger seat. By the time I get in on my side, her arms are crossed and she is facing away from me.


"Olivia, I'm sorry. I don't exactly know the protocol of anniversaries," I confess as I put a hand on her shoulder.


She does not respond so I start the car and pull out of the driveway.


"Can we please just try to have a good time?" I desperately ask, "I don't want to fight tonight."


"Fine," she turns towards me, "Where are we going?"


"To that nice Italian place downtown," I proudly tell her.


We ride in silence until we park at the restaurant. Looks like it will be a great night.


I open her door and take her hand, "Please forgive me." I give her the saddest looking puppy eyes I can manage.


She giggles, "Okay, I will let you slide just this once."


"Thank you," I say as I usher her inside the restaraunt.


The hostess asks, "A table for two?"


I nod, "On the upstairs balcony, if you have a table available," I say with hope.


"Sure. Follow me, please," she leads us up the stairs and out of the door.


It is a clear night and with this soft candle lighting, we can see every star burning bright.


We are seated in the far right corner. It has a view of the city lights and the river. I couldn't have planned for a more perfect spot.


I look at Olivia, "This is great. We have an amazing view."


I smile as she looks back at me with a sour face, "It is freezing out here. And I can not even see the menu."


I take off my jacket and put it around her, "Better?"


"Hardly."


"I can ask if they will move us inside," I suggest reluctantly.


"Yeah, let's go," she stands and walks towards the door.


We go back downstairs to find the hostess, "Ma'am, I'm so sorry, but could we move to a table inside instead? It was a little too chilly for my girlfriend."


"Okay, no problem. Follow me," she gestures, I sense a little irritation.


"Thank you so much," I respond. We are moved to a table downstairs by the kitchen. The hostess leaves as our waiter walks up.


"Hi, my name is Cody and I will be your waiter for this evening. What can I start you off with to drink?" he asks.


I nod towards Olivia, "I'll have water."


He turns to me, "Sweet tea, please."


"I'll be right back with your drinks," he says as he walks away.


Olivia pulls out her cell and sends a text back to whoever just messaged her. She then puts the phone down on the table and looks at me expectantly, waiting for me to speak.


I ask the first thing that pops into my head, "So, how was your day, Babe?"


"It was fine, I guess. Blakeley and I skipped the last two periods and went to the mall," she said as the waiter placed our drinks and a basket of bread in front of us.


The waiter takes out his order pad, "So, guys, what will you be having tonight?"


Olivia speaks up, "Just the house salad with the dressing on the side."


"I'll have the Chicken Parmesan, please," I tell him.


"Alright, I'll get your order put right in," Cody announces, then turns and walks away.


"You skipped school?" I ask, she nods. "Olivia, you need to stop doing that. You need to take school more seriously."


"Chill, it was just two classes. Plus, I wanted to get a new outfit for tonight," she said, rolling her eyes.


"It's not just those two classes today; you skip at least once a week. You're going to eventually get caught," I reasoned.


"Okay DAD. Stop hounding me about it," she replies.


I pick up a breadstick and take a bite. Anything to keep me from saying something I'll regret. I do not know why she does things like that… skipping school, cheating on tests, talking herself out of situations she gets herself into, it gets ridiculous. For a senior, she can be pretty immature.


We sit in silence and stare off in different directions until the food finally arrives. I have got to lift the mood or it will be a very long night.


"I am excited to see that new action thriller. I have heard great reviews on it," I say, reopening the conversation.


She shoots me a look, "Do we really have to go see that tonight? It doesn't look very good to me. I would rather see that new Kate Hudson movie."


"The chick flick?" I groaned, "What if we just did something else instead?"


"Like what?" she huffed.

"Oh, I don't know, we could walk around downtown or play putt-putt or something…" I suggested. "What would you like to do?"


"I'm wearing heels," she blurted out.


"Okay, fine… we can just go see your movie," I said, giving in. If she gets mad at me, I will hear it for days.


Too late, though, I already upset her, "No, Riley, I think I just want to go home after dinner."


"Seriously?" I make my voice sound frustrated, "Are you mad at me now?"


"Yes, I am. You are not taking our seven month anniversary seriously. You should have planned an entire romantic evening but all you did was plan to take me to dinner and a movie. Then you tell me to decide what to do because I am upset with the fact that you chose an unrealistic thriller to watch instead of a movie about love. AND you didn't even get me a gift, or in the very least, flowers," Olivia explains as her voice reaches new decibels, "Some boyfriend you are."


"Oh my goodness, Olivia, the seven month anniversary isn't even one to be celebrating like this. It has only been seven months, not seven years," I argue, "You are being really immature and materialistic right now and it is not flattering you."


"Take me home. Now," she demands.


"Fine," I turn in my chair to find Cody, our waiter. He was not too far away so I ask, "I'm sorry, can we have the check now, please?"

Cody grabs his receipt book, "Certainly. Was everything okay with your dinner?"


I answer in a friendly voice, "It was great, thank you."


I pull out cash and hand it to him with a smile, "Keep the change."


"Thank you, sir. You folks have a great night," he replies.


"You too," I say.

I stand up from the table and look at Olivia who is sitting in her chair with a pout on her face. She finally stands then follows me out of the restaurant. When we get to the car, I open her door and shut it forcefully behind her. I get into my seat, and then she decides to speak.


"Babe, I'm sorry. I overreacted. You are right, this shouldn't be a big deal," she sinks her head down.


Her expectation is what gets me. She expects me to always have everything exactly the way she wants it. She expects that I do things up to her standards. She expects me to read her mind apparently.


"It's fine," but I don't ease my tone, "Just as long as you know."


I start to drive without another word.


Several minutes later, she can not stand the silence, "Are you really taking me home now?"


"Yes."


"But I said I'm sorry. We could still try to have a good night out," she pouts, "You can take me to see that movie. I guess that will be fine."


HA, "No, I better just take you home."


She thinks for just a moment, "Well, can we try again tomorrow night? It will be better then."


"I've got plans already."


"With who?!" she raises her voice, "It better not be with little miss I'm-too-good-for-everyone-because-I'm-a-Christian. You know I don't like you hanging out with her. I see the way she looks at you; she likes you, Riley. And I wouldn't put it past her to try and steal you from me."


I am livid, "Olivia, she is my best friend. If you don't like me hanging out with her, then tough luck. I will be spending as much time with her as I want to. And I am so tired of you feeling threatened by her. She doesn't give me a look. We have been best friends since we were in diapers. That's all we are… best friends. Now I know you can't understand that concept of having one friend for more than a year or two, but that is what I have. With her. She is staying in my life whether you like it or not."


"So you would choose your friend over your girlfriend?" she asks, as we pull into her driveway.


"Are you giving me an ultimatum?" I ask.


She takes a second to gather her thoughts.


"Yes, yes I am. It's Brielle or me. Your friend, or your girlfriend."


I answer all too quickly, "Her. I choose her."


Olivia drops her jaw and stares at me in amazement, "You don't mean that."


"Yes I do," I answer sternly.


"Babe," She starts in with her wounded voice, "so you are just willing to throw away our relationship? Just like that?" she asks, bewildered. I know her; she uses this voice when she wants something from me. ONLY when she wants something from me. Afterwards, she is fine; everything goes back to normal and it is as if it never happened.


"I'm sure you will be just fine, Babe." I keep a tight grip on the wheel and never turn in her direction.


"Please, Riley, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to--" she grabs my arm.


I shake off her grip, "Yes you did. You meant it all." I was not backing down from my defense. "Brie has done nothing to deserve anything you throw in her direction. This isn't just about tonight. I have caught every little thing you implied about her over the months and I have just pushed it aside. I thought time would make things better, I thought it would make you two friends, but it hasn't. I don't want to keep putting either of you through this, it's not fair."


"You are only being not fair to me," she responds, "Give me another chance. Please?"


I do not respond right away to Olivia. I am not sure of what to do. Should I give her another chance? Maybe she needed this argument to realize how awful she is about Brie. Maybe this will make her want to be friends with my friend.


I finally turn in her direction and look her in the eye, "Olivia, I just need time to think. Give me a couple of days to get my head on straight. I'll call you when I am ready to talk."


She breaks eye contact and hangs her head in shame, "Okay, Riley. A couple of days. Then everything will be better."


I look back out towards the front of the car and choose not to correct her. Everything may not be better, for her at least. Olivia opens her door and steps out of the car. She turns back to me to say one last thing, "I love you."


I keep staring straight ahead. She shuts the car door and heads inside.

I pull out of the driveway and start towards my house. It is only 8:57 pm, I wonder if Brie would still want to hang out. But if I go there now, she will know something is up with me and Olivia, and I am not sure I want to make it public yet. No, I will just wait until tomorrow to see her, and I will not say anything about Olivia until I am sure of what I want to do. Although, I am fairly certain.


---

What do you think?

Should he give Olivia another chance?

Leave a comment below!