Lessons learned from motion pictures.

Life lessons we would never learn if it weren't for movies:

• If you are a girl who has never been asked on a date or hit on, all it takes is some contacts, a new hairstyle, and a new wardrobe and you will be the hottest new kid on the block.
• The only time you will ever run out of gas, have engine trouble, or pop a tire is when you are in the middle of nowhere at night... never in a high speed car chase.
• If you are ever faced with a group of 10+ men who want to kill you by way of martial arts, you will be able to defeat them all. Each man will wait patiently around you until you have knocked out his predecessor.
• All foreigners speak English to each other, even when they are alone.
• In the event of your pending death - as you are lying on the floor with a loaded gun pointed at your head - the assailant will explain his every reason for killing you, giving you ample time to make your escape.
• If you start singing or dancing at any moment in time, anyone you bump into will know all the words and steps and will join right in.
• If you run away from a killer, he will be able to keep his slow paced walk and still catch up to you.
• Partnered police officers are always the exact opposite of each other.
• Also, the partners usually hate each other. If they don't hate each other, one of them will die.
• If you have face stubble, you have a dark, mysterious past.
• Ancient Romans had English accents.
• In a matter of seconds, your laptop can hack into any computer system undetected and with no problem, including major government organizations.
• A detective can solve a case only if they are suspended from duty or ordered not to pursue said case.
• If your dad has any kind of job, he will automatically forget about your 8th birthday.
• You alone will able to kill 20 men with a gun, but 20 men - each with his own gun - wouldn't be able to touch you.
• Your mom will make a big breakfast that no one in the family has time to eat. Every morning.
• In the end, the loyal, pining best friend gets the girl. The misogynistic babe magnet always gets what's coming to him.
• Time and distance are the only thing that makes the heart grow fonder.
• When a slew of liscenced to kill government officials are after you, you will always outwit and out run them.
• You will fall for the bad boy (you think you can change him), he will take a chance on you (because of that one quality that no other girl has), he lets you down with his bad boy demeanor (you couldn't change him the way you were expecting), you will break up with him (breaking first your heart; and later, his), he will change for the better (into the person you first wanted him to be because you "inspire him" to be a better person), and you two will live happily ever after (or at least until the credits).
• It is easier to date the President's daughter than be tracked down by Secret Service.
• Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment.
• If you're in a major battle, the only important people will be fighting near each other, and only with each other. All others will weakly pretend to fight.
• Radioactive matter will never give you cancer, only super powers.
• Guns never need to be reloaded.
• You must always investigate any noise you hear.

Movies seen in theaters: 18

DvDs bought: 58