NanoWriMo Day 30 - The End!

November is finally over which means I either reached 50,000 words... or I didn't. And I must break the news to you....

I made it!! :)

It has been a very stressful month because I get way too distracted by things. I kept putting off writing which is exactly what I told myself not to do before I even started. Next year, I will have to remember back to this day when I frantically had to type my fingers raw to reach my goal. It better not happen again, future Cassie. 

The novel I was writing is not nearly finished and is very rough around the edges, so I won't be letting anyone read the whole thing anytime soon. I don't even know if I will finish it in the immediate future. We'll see.

I have thought of another story that could be turned into a novel... but I highly doubt I will be starting that for a long while. I think I want to step away from my novel for a bit. Maybe pick it back up after the new year.

Though, I think it will be weird going from stressing about my word count everyday to not having to worry anymore. Even when I wasn't writing because I was being distracted, I felt completely and entirely guilty for not writing. It ate at my nerves. I may have to get readjusted back to pre-NaNo life. Haha.

Anyways, I have a new challenge for myself: mastering the art of Rubik's. Cube, that is. Cody brought one with him over Thanksgiving break and kept figuring it out. It made him look like a genius. I want to look like a genius, too. :)

Well, I am signing off tonight, on the last day of November, as a new author. See you in December. ;)

NanoWriMo Day 28

Well guys, I'm failing miserably at reaching my goal. I have not written anything in days. My family and a friend came into town for Thanksgiving break so I just could not get myself to sit and write. 


I am not blaming their presence for my slack, that is totally on me. Once I started slipping away, I just kept finding reasons to put it off even longer. Cassie, you should be ashamed.


However, I had so much fun this past week. Brandy and Mat came for Thanksgiving from West Virginia; Cody, Mom, and Dad came from South Carolina; Bubba came from Murfreesboro; plus, I had the rest of my extended family already in town.


Tuesday is when everyone came to Chattanooga. Brandy and Mat arrived first. We went to lunch and then Hobby Lobby so B could do some Christmas decor shopping. We then headed back to Pawpaw's house because Cody and Mom arrived. After hanging out for a while with them, I went to Bubba's house for Knox's 1st birthday party where I got to hang out with the Johnson's, Mary Kathleen, and tons of other people for a while. It was great; I love being around all of them. I then went to my aunt and uncle's house, where I found out that my uncle Brad is one of my biggest fans. [I love you, Brad! :) ]


Wednesday, after working half a day, Cody and I went to Panera for a while. I was supposed to be writing and he was supposed to be reading, but we ended up just talking, laughing, and watching youtube videos. Typical. ;) Then we went with Ash, Brandy, Bubba, and Jacob to River City Pottery (I think that's the name of the place) where we painted different pottery pieces. It was so much fun. I can't wait to pick up our masterpieces in a few days! I want to go again soon.


Thursday was Thanksgiving so it was just a relaxing and food-filled day. We ate at Mawmaw's first and stayed there to hang out with family until it was time to go eat again at Pawpaw's. We stayed there the rest of the day until B, Cody, Mat, and I came back to my house. Bubba eventually came over that night. He, Cody, and I stayed up all night until we got ready to head out for Black Friday.


Which brings us to Friday. Us three and B left my house at 4 am to go pick up Ash. We love to see the craziness that happens on Black Friday; that is the main reason we venture out on this crazy day. We started at the mall; more specifically, outside of Victoria's Secret. There was a large crowd huddled around the closed door waiting to get in. Cody, the funny guy that he is, started a slow clap and counted down from ten when the workers went to open the door. It was hilarious... people in the crowd went along with him. After the doors opened, we pushed our way in and had a few laughs. People were going insane. I think many of them just grabbed a handful of whatever was near them and got in line because by the time we got towards the front of the store, there was already a few long lines at the checkout. At that point, we shoved our way out of the store. We then ate breakfast with Mom, Stacie, and Hali and walked around to browse through the stores. Eventually, Bubba, Cody and I split from the others and left the mall. We visited a few places: Guitar Center, Academy Sports, Old Navy, McKay's, Walmart, and GameStop; The only thing I ended up buying were a few movies from McKay's. We also sat in Starbucks for a while just talking, laughing, and enjoying our delicious drinks. We even ended up with a free White Chocolate Mocha. (I ditched my drink and took that one.)
After the long day of shopping (which ended while it was still morning), Cody and I went home and I took a much needed nap. Then it was time to get things ready for my Pawpaw's wedding. That's right, my grandpa got remarried. It was a very sweet ceremony. Mat actually got to marry Pawpaw and Myrna, so that was really cool. After the wedding and reception were over, Brandy and Mat had to depart. :( My siblings and I cried... it felt like it did when they moved away from us last year. It was just as hard to say goodbye this time as it was the first time. I didn't like it... I miss them all the time.
Later, Cody, Charles (my cousin), and I met my dad at Steak and Shake which was fun. It is always so funny when my dad and Cody get together. They are hilarious.


Saturday, I had to work. Bleh. Daddy left that morning so he came by my work to say goodbye. After work, Cody and I met up with Ash, Jake, and some of our friends for dinner. We left there and went to buy me a Rubik's cube (which I have yet to learn how to do). Cody has been playing with his all week and is getting faster and faster at solving it, so I am determined to learn. The Locke's invited us over so we went and played Mexican Dominoes with Mary Kathleen, Douglas, and Will. I have never lost so bad in my life. We played so that each player accumulated their own points (lowest number wins, largest number loses). I came in last place with 701 points. Pathetic. I think Will came in first with a double digit score.


Sunday (which would be today), I went to church and got to eat lunch with the Johnson's. Cody left at 8 this morning so I had to say bye to him before I even got ready for church. :( I wish he would move here. And, Bubba had to go back to school (boo) so we had to say our goodbyes today as well. He did get to make his stocking, though, to hang up in my house. Jacob made one too. So now, along with those two, Ash, Leah, Chris, and I have our stockings hanging in my living room. We put up our tree and other decorations and it is finally beginning to feel like Christmas. :)


Alright, enough rambling about this past week. Time for bed so I can get up and make money. ;)

Novel Excerpt

I have decided to be generous and share another excerpt from my book. This excerpt allows you to get to know a few of the characters a little bit.


Again, these events happen before the prologue happens.


To specifiy:
Brielle Porter is his friend.
Olivia is his girlfriend.
(There was confusion about who Porter was.
Riley will call Brie that sometimes.)


This is still in its rough stages... sorry for any typos or grammatical errors.


Enjoy!


---


"Riley Brooks Parker, why didn't you call me back last night?" Brielle asks me in her so-called threatening voice. "I told you I needed to talk to you."


She gives me a stern look as we stop at her locker on the way to Calculus.


"Sorry, Brie, the girlfriend called and you know I couldn't very well tell her I needed to call you instead of talking to her. She would kill me," I laugh.

"She sure does have you wrapped tightly around that dainty little finger of hers, doesn't she? And I highly doubt you two talked all night. You could have at least had the courtesy to let me know my news wasn't very high on your list of priorities for the night," the sarcasm pours out effortlessly.


"I told you I'm sorry, what else do you want me to say?" I ask, a little too pointedly.


"Nothing, Riley," she huffs. "But you did not have to avoid me all day. You knew it wouldn't last long until I finally caught up with you." Brie grabs her book and slams the locker door a bit harder than needed. But, I caught the eye roll. That usually means she has forgiven me and the argument is over.


"So, what was the news anyway?" I ask, curiously.


"Oh, nothing. It's not important anymore." She is still upset about something, I can tell. She is not too suave when it comes to hiding her emotions.

"Of course it is. Just tell me," I give her a cheesy smile, "Please?"


"Later. When I have enough time to tell you everything. I'd rather it be in person anyways. But it's not really news, just something I need to talk to you about."


Hm, must be important.


"Okay, whatever you say, Porter."


We sit down and get ready for class.

Brielle is my rock, my best friend. The connection we have is hard to put into words. It has been this way since we were first able to walk. Even back then, nothing could separate us. Though, it helps that we live next door to each other.


She is the only person that I can honestly count on. I have been let down so many times by so many people: my divorced parents, superficial friends, even dishonest authority figures that claim to have it all together. Brie is, in a word, good. Dependable, honest, reserved, kind, easy going, and beautiful on the inside and out.

We have been there for each other through our darkest times. She is the only one I can talk to about my parent's divorce. She understands that all I need is someone to be quick to listen and slow to speak. She doesn't try to diagnose my problems or fix them, Brie is just there for me. And when her mom passed away seven years ago, I made sure I was there when she needed a shoulder to cry on. We help pick each other up when we have fallen down and given up. I don't know where I'd be if I didn't have her by my side.


My girlfriend, Olivia, is Brie's opposite. Olivia is eccentric, loud, a talker, and a bit materialistic. I suppose it's the combination of her personality traits, but she doesn't get along with most people. I can even sense Brie's irritation with her at times. But, Olivia is fun. And I'm not trying to take things so seriously at my age. I'm a high school senior; this is the last year I really have to take it easy and just have fun with everything. And my girlfriend is no exception. I would never tell Brie that though, she would disapprove of my intentions.

Besides this calculus class, my school day is pretty easy. I actually do not mind being at school this year. I have most classes with Brie so that may have something to do with it also.

The class drags on until the bell finally announces the end of the school day.

Brie walks over to my desk, "So, do you think we could do something tonight? I can't even remember the last time we watched a movie together. I hear the new thriller is really good."


"Sorry, Porter, I'm actually taking Olivia to see it. She told me it was our seven month anniversary today. I told her we could have a date night."


And cue the sarcastic remark, "Ah, yes, the seven month anniversary. We all know how important that one is," she shakes her head.


"Well of course she wants to celebrate. What can I say? I'm a great catch," I reply with a wink and a smile.


"If your ego gets any bigger, you won't be able to fit through the door," she starts to walk away, "Call me when you can fit me into your busy schedule."


"Drama queen," I call out.


Her response is almost instant, "Narcissist."


Olivia goes to my school's rival so I won't see her until later when I pick her up for our date. My mom is not too fond of my girlfriend. For some reason, they clash and I can't exactly figure out why. Because of that, we don't spend much time at my house.

Olivia has only met my dad once. After the divorce, he moved to Seattle and he has only visited once a year since he moved there four years ago. I have only been there twice. I talk to him every now and then, but it's not like it used to be.


Things are different with Mom too. When we talk, we hardly go below the surface. I don't tell her about the things going on in my life because she tries to control it all. She also still does some of the things we used to do when her and Dad were together, like going to the movies on Sunday after church, Spaghetti Wednesdays, and she reads the Bible out loud every night in our living room. I know she misses my dad, but most of the time, she does those things alone because I gave up on those things when he gave up on her. She tries to live in the past, and I can not stand to watch the pain she goes through. She tries to convince me that she is fine and God has control of it all, but I do not believe it.


In fact, I don't go to church much anymore. I only go for the holidays like Easter and Christmas. I have seen too many disappointing things happen in my life to give praise to someone who let it all happen. I can't even forgive my parents for what they put me through, how could I forgive God?


Brie still goes to the church I used to go to, where my mom still goes. Every now and then she'll bring up something faith related but she knows not to push it with me, unlike my mom. Mom is always trying to get me to go to church or read the Bible again with her, but my heart just is not in it.



I pull up to the house and walk towards the front door. I can see Brielle about to walk into her house so I yell out to her, "Hey, Brie, how does tomorrow sound?"


"What is happening tomorrow?"


"Just me and you, renting a movie and watching it at your house. It will be like old times," I smile.


"Sounds good to me! Don't forget to bring the popcorn!" she yells.


"Like I could forget, I've been doing it practically my whole life," I tease.


"Have fun tonight. I'll see you later, Riley."


I rush upstairs to get ready for tonight. I am taking Olivia to dinner before the movie. Maybe I will take her to Tony's downtown. It's nice and romantic, she will love it.


By the time I finish my homework, shower, and throw on clothes, it is time to pick her up. I get in the car and head to her house.


Olivia's dad opens the front door and ushers me into the living room.


"She's not quite ready yet," he says, going back to reading his newspaper as I sit on the couch.


"She never is, is she?" I laugh.


"Now, that is a woman's prerogative, is it not?" Olivia asks, walking into the room.


"Oh, wow. Babe, you look beautiful," I stand and kiss her on the cheek.


"Thank you," she smiles and spins, "it's a new dress. I wanted to look good for my boyfriend tonight."


"More than good, you look radiant. Ready to head out?"


"I am," she grabs my hand and a jacket, "bye, Daddy. I'll be home later."


"Bye, you two. Have a good time," he never looks up from the paper.

I open the car door for Olivia. She stops and turns towards me, "Really, no flowers?"


Dang, "No, sorry. I didn't have time to stop anywhere."


"So, you didn't get me anything?" she asks, surprised.


"It's not exactly a gift kind of anniversary. We have only been dating for seven months," I explain.


She huffs and plops down in the passenger seat. By the time I get in on my side, her arms are crossed and she is facing away from me.


"Olivia, I'm sorry. I don't exactly know the protocol of anniversaries," I confess as I put a hand on her shoulder.


She does not respond so I start the car and pull out of the driveway.


"Can we please just try to have a good time?" I desperately ask, "I don't want to fight tonight."


"Fine," she turns towards me, "Where are we going?"


"To that nice Italian place downtown," I proudly tell her.


We ride in silence until we park at the restaurant. Looks like it will be a great night.


I open her door and take her hand, "Please forgive me." I give her the saddest looking puppy eyes I can manage.


She giggles, "Okay, I will let you slide just this once."


"Thank you," I say as I usher her inside the restaraunt.


The hostess asks, "A table for two?"


I nod, "On the upstairs balcony, if you have a table available," I say with hope.


"Sure. Follow me, please," she leads us up the stairs and out of the door.


It is a clear night and with this soft candle lighting, we can see every star burning bright.


We are seated in the far right corner. It has a view of the city lights and the river. I couldn't have planned for a more perfect spot.


I look at Olivia, "This is great. We have an amazing view."


I smile as she looks back at me with a sour face, "It is freezing out here. And I can not even see the menu."


I take off my jacket and put it around her, "Better?"


"Hardly."


"I can ask if they will move us inside," I suggest reluctantly.


"Yeah, let's go," she stands and walks towards the door.


We go back downstairs to find the hostess, "Ma'am, I'm so sorry, but could we move to a table inside instead? It was a little too chilly for my girlfriend."


"Okay, no problem. Follow me," she gestures, I sense a little irritation.


"Thank you so much," I respond. We are moved to a table downstairs by the kitchen. The hostess leaves as our waiter walks up.


"Hi, my name is Cody and I will be your waiter for this evening. What can I start you off with to drink?" he asks.


I nod towards Olivia, "I'll have water."


He turns to me, "Sweet tea, please."


"I'll be right back with your drinks," he says as he walks away.


Olivia pulls out her cell and sends a text back to whoever just messaged her. She then puts the phone down on the table and looks at me expectantly, waiting for me to speak.


I ask the first thing that pops into my head, "So, how was your day, Babe?"


"It was fine, I guess. Blakeley and I skipped the last two periods and went to the mall," she said as the waiter placed our drinks and a basket of bread in front of us.


The waiter takes out his order pad, "So, guys, what will you be having tonight?"


Olivia speaks up, "Just the house salad with the dressing on the side."


"I'll have the Chicken Parmesan, please," I tell him.


"Alright, I'll get your order put right in," Cody announces, then turns and walks away.


"You skipped school?" I ask, she nods. "Olivia, you need to stop doing that. You need to take school more seriously."


"Chill, it was just two classes. Plus, I wanted to get a new outfit for tonight," she said, rolling her eyes.


"It's not just those two classes today; you skip at least once a week. You're going to eventually get caught," I reasoned.


"Okay DAD. Stop hounding me about it," she replies.


I pick up a breadstick and take a bite. Anything to keep me from saying something I'll regret. I do not know why she does things like that… skipping school, cheating on tests, talking herself out of situations she gets herself into, it gets ridiculous. For a senior, she can be pretty immature.


We sit in silence and stare off in different directions until the food finally arrives. I have got to lift the mood or it will be a very long night.


"I am excited to see that new action thriller. I have heard great reviews on it," I say, reopening the conversation.


She shoots me a look, "Do we really have to go see that tonight? It doesn't look very good to me. I would rather see that new Kate Hudson movie."


"The chick flick?" I groaned, "What if we just did something else instead?"


"Like what?" she huffed.

"Oh, I don't know, we could walk around downtown or play putt-putt or something…" I suggested. "What would you like to do?"


"I'm wearing heels," she blurted out.


"Okay, fine… we can just go see your movie," I said, giving in. If she gets mad at me, I will hear it for days.


Too late, though, I already upset her, "No, Riley, I think I just want to go home after dinner."


"Seriously?" I make my voice sound frustrated, "Are you mad at me now?"


"Yes, I am. You are not taking our seven month anniversary seriously. You should have planned an entire romantic evening but all you did was plan to take me to dinner and a movie. Then you tell me to decide what to do because I am upset with the fact that you chose an unrealistic thriller to watch instead of a movie about love. AND you didn't even get me a gift, or in the very least, flowers," Olivia explains as her voice reaches new decibels, "Some boyfriend you are."


"Oh my goodness, Olivia, the seven month anniversary isn't even one to be celebrating like this. It has only been seven months, not seven years," I argue, "You are being really immature and materialistic right now and it is not flattering you."


"Take me home. Now," she demands.


"Fine," I turn in my chair to find Cody, our waiter. He was not too far away so I ask, "I'm sorry, can we have the check now, please?"

Cody grabs his receipt book, "Certainly. Was everything okay with your dinner?"


I answer in a friendly voice, "It was great, thank you."


I pull out cash and hand it to him with a smile, "Keep the change."


"Thank you, sir. You folks have a great night," he replies.


"You too," I say.

I stand up from the table and look at Olivia who is sitting in her chair with a pout on her face. She finally stands then follows me out of the restaurant. When we get to the car, I open her door and shut it forcefully behind her. I get into my seat, and then she decides to speak.


"Babe, I'm sorry. I overreacted. You are right, this shouldn't be a big deal," she sinks her head down.


Her expectation is what gets me. She expects me to always have everything exactly the way she wants it. She expects that I do things up to her standards. She expects me to read her mind apparently.


"It's fine," but I don't ease my tone, "Just as long as you know."


I start to drive without another word.


Several minutes later, she can not stand the silence, "Are you really taking me home now?"


"Yes."


"But I said I'm sorry. We could still try to have a good night out," she pouts, "You can take me to see that movie. I guess that will be fine."


HA, "No, I better just take you home."


She thinks for just a moment, "Well, can we try again tomorrow night? It will be better then."


"I've got plans already."


"With who?!" she raises her voice, "It better not be with little miss I'm-too-good-for-everyone-because-I'm-a-Christian. You know I don't like you hanging out with her. I see the way she looks at you; she likes you, Riley. And I wouldn't put it past her to try and steal you from me."


I am livid, "Olivia, she is my best friend. If you don't like me hanging out with her, then tough luck. I will be spending as much time with her as I want to. And I am so tired of you feeling threatened by her. She doesn't give me a look. We have been best friends since we were in diapers. That's all we are… best friends. Now I know you can't understand that concept of having one friend for more than a year or two, but that is what I have. With her. She is staying in my life whether you like it or not."


"So you would choose your friend over your girlfriend?" she asks, as we pull into her driveway.


"Are you giving me an ultimatum?" I ask.


She takes a second to gather her thoughts.


"Yes, yes I am. It's Brielle or me. Your friend, or your girlfriend."


I answer all too quickly, "Her. I choose her."


Olivia drops her jaw and stares at me in amazement, "You don't mean that."


"Yes I do," I answer sternly.


"Babe," She starts in with her wounded voice, "so you are just willing to throw away our relationship? Just like that?" she asks, bewildered. I know her; she uses this voice when she wants something from me. ONLY when she wants something from me. Afterwards, she is fine; everything goes back to normal and it is as if it never happened.


"I'm sure you will be just fine, Babe." I keep a tight grip on the wheel and never turn in her direction.


"Please, Riley, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to--" she grabs my arm.


I shake off her grip, "Yes you did. You meant it all." I was not backing down from my defense. "Brie has done nothing to deserve anything you throw in her direction. This isn't just about tonight. I have caught every little thing you implied about her over the months and I have just pushed it aside. I thought time would make things better, I thought it would make you two friends, but it hasn't. I don't want to keep putting either of you through this, it's not fair."


"You are only being not fair to me," she responds, "Give me another chance. Please?"


I do not respond right away to Olivia. I am not sure of what to do. Should I give her another chance? Maybe she needed this argument to realize how awful she is about Brie. Maybe this will make her want to be friends with my friend.


I finally turn in her direction and look her in the eye, "Olivia, I just need time to think. Give me a couple of days to get my head on straight. I'll call you when I am ready to talk."


She breaks eye contact and hangs her head in shame, "Okay, Riley. A couple of days. Then everything will be better."


I look back out towards the front of the car and choose not to correct her. Everything may not be better, for her at least. Olivia opens her door and steps out of the car. She turns back to me to say one last thing, "I love you."


I keep staring straight ahead. She shuts the car door and heads inside.

I pull out of the driveway and start towards my house. It is only 8:57 pm, I wonder if Brie would still want to hang out. But if I go there now, she will know something is up with me and Olivia, and I am not sure I want to make it public yet. No, I will just wait until tomorrow to see her, and I will not say anything about Olivia until I am sure of what I want to do. Although, I am fairly certain.


---

What do you think?

Should he give Olivia another chance?

Leave a comment below!

NaNoWriMo Day 19 & All Kinds of Magic

Yesterday was my day off so I had all day to write, and once again, I was a slacker. I mean, I did write a bunch, but not nearly as much as I should have. But, I do have a legitimate excuse... it was the Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 1 premier! I was too excited to write. :P

Ash, Jake, and I went to dinner with Emily before we went to the theater. We went to Moe's (YUM!) and since it was Thursday night, the illusionist was there. (He is there every Thursday from 6-8 or 6-9... can't remember right now.) He just completely blew my mind.  He placed a single red, squishy ball in my hand and counted to three for me to open it and when I did, there were two balls! I kid you not, while he was counting, I could feel the second ball forming in my hand. He uses this stuff as his ministry so I am pretty sure he has Jesus magic. (Like, Jesus literally helps him do what he does.) There was no other explanation for it. It was amazing. If you have a Thursday night that you're free, go to Moe's on Gunbarrel in Chattanooga, he is awesome.

After dinner, we had an hour and a half to kill before 10:00, which was when we were planning to go to the theater. So we went to Walmart and looked around a bit, then we headed to the theater for the two hour wait to see HP7.

Usually with premiers, we have to wait in the lobby forever until they actually let us into a theater, but as soon as we got there, they seated us in theater 4. It was much more organized and way less chaotic, but I actually enjoy waiting in the lobby and people watching, especially when people dress up... and these people were dressed up. But no worries, we actually had a fun group of people in our theater. There were about 10-15 teenagers who were playing different games in that open space between the front row and the screen. They started out with ninja, then went on to charades (which the whole audience got involved in), and they played a few other games I wasn't too familiar with. It was entertaining.

The movie itself was incredible. It was epic, it was dark, it was perfect. My body was literally tensed up the entire time. I was so nervous that at certain points, I realized I was holding my breath... I had to make myself breathe. It was that intense. I don't really want to say anymore than that about it because it really is something you have to see for yourself. This really is the most amazing movie franchise ever, I will be sad to see it end next July.

It was 2:30 am by the time the movie ended. I was too wired to go to bed right away when I got home, so I wrote for a while. I wrote over 1,000 words to be more precise. Watching that movie made me just want to keep writing all night, I suppose it gave me inspiration. After a while though, I had to go to bed because I have work today. But even so, for going to be around 4, I am not even tired. Crazy, huh?

I am going to write tonight, of coure, but to make sure I don't get too distracted, I am having Ashley be with me to watch my every move so that I write without ceasing. She knows how to control her sister. :P

Prologue.

Thank you so much to everyone who became a follower... You guys rock!
And a special thanks to Jacob for being #30! You sealed the deal. ;)

It was cold and rainy all morning - my ideal weather. Needless to say, I am in a great mood and very excited to share an excerpt from my novel with you.

Here is a little background before you read the prologue:

The novel is in first person point of view.

The guy whose view it is in is named Riley. (Haven't chosen a last name yet.)

Age reference: he is a senior in high school.

Chapter 1 starts at a time before the events in the prologue happen. The story will lead up to this point and then you will get to see what happens next.

I hope it is intriguing enough to grab your attention and I hope you enjoy it!

p.s. Sorry for the roughness of the grammar and what not... it hasn't been edited yet.

---

My name is written in the unmistakable handwriting of the girl next door. But why? Why do I have this sealed envelope in my hands when she should be here beside me? 

It has already been almost two hours since they started my treatment in this small, cold hospital room. I have asked everyone that passes through where my best friend is. Brielle should be here. She promised to be here. It seems as though everyone is avoiding me; even my parents.

Brielle's father was the last to stop by. When I begged for an answer, he only handed me this envelope with my name on it. Mr. Porter did not even look me in the eye when he said, "She wants you to read this."

"Where the hell is she?!" I yelled at him. The way his face went white was unnerving. The guilt from my outburst never surfaced because of the overpowering rage I felt.

Something is wrong and these people are not telling me what it is. Why won't Brie just come tell me what she needs to say instead of having her father give me this stupid letter?

I hear the door click open.

"Riley, how are you feeling?"

"Angry, Mom. Where is Brie?" I demand.

"I meant, how is your chest and body feeling? Sore from where they put the IV in?" She asks in a shaky voice.

"It's fine," I say, lowering my tone; I don't need to be so upset with her. Whatever this is can't be her fault. "Mom, I really need you to tell me where she is. Is she still upset with me? Why won't she come see me?"

"Son, just read the letter. She asked us to give it to you before anything else was said."

I look back at the envelope, "I'm scared of what is in it, of what is not being said to me."

Maybe if I never read it, it will all go away and she will walk through the door to comfort me with her smile. I squeeze my eyes shut. Lord, please let her be okay.

"I will give you some privacy. Push the call button if you need the nurse. Or even if you just need me. We will both be right in,” she says as she walks towards the door.

I stare at my name trying to uncover Brie’s secret through each letter that was carefully written. 

Mom opens the door and turns back towards me, "I love you," she says as her voice weakens to sadness. The door clicks shut.

Maybe this is all a dream and I am about to wake up. It has to be.

How can it be a dream, though, when I can feel the sharp sting and burning pain in my chest? It is time for more pain killers. The medicine will help me sleep; it will keep me from reading this letter. Maybe I should call the nurse in to give me the medicine so I will not have a chance to read it.

I don't want to read whatever this letter says. I should tear it up and throw it away. Brie not coming in here by now for whatever reason is just ridiculous. What could she possibly want to tell me in a letter that she could not tell to my face? We grew up together, we know each other, we talk about everything… if she wants me to know what she has to say, she can talk to me right here, in this room.

But what if something bad happened? Now that I think about it, each person I asked responded to my questioning with the same expression... first sadness, then pity. Pity for me, though, not her. What could that mean?

I guess now there is only one way to find out...


---

Let me know what you think!

Leave a comment below.

:)

NaNoWriMo Day 15

The month is halfway over! I am still behind on my total word count, but I am trying to get back up to speed. Within the past 24 hours, I have gone from 11,597 to 15,805. And that is not counting the paragraphs I wrote right before taking this blogger break.


By the end of tonight (if I had stayed on task), I should have reached 25,000 words. So, as you can see, I have got a lot of catching up to do. Pray for me! :)


This past weekend's Carolina Beach plans fell completely through. Bummer. But we did get to spend a few days with some of the most awesome people in the world. ;)


We spent the weekend at Blakeley's house in North Augusta. It is always a blessing to be able to stay with her family because they are like my second family. They take such good care of me. We pretty much just hung out and laughed all weekend, which was nice. 


Here are some pictures taken on my MacBook:

Haha.

We also made a completely random, yet hilarious video. Click here to view it.

So, even though we didn't get to go to Carolina Beach with Emily and Paige, Ash and I still had an awesome weekend with my friends and family back home.

While I was there, I did not type anything for my novel. I was so distracted by all the fun being had. Sometimes, it is just so hard for me to concentrate.

Okay, back to writing!

NaNoWriMo Day 10

Yes, the truth is that it is day 10 and I am far behind from where I need to be in my word count. So, instead of dwelling on that horrifying fact, I am going to tell you about my day 9.

Yesterday, I did not type one word towards my goal. All day at work, I sat in a daydream. Usually, when I'm not having to do actual work, I read other blogs, check my stats, text, or play on my phone or iPod. Yesterday, though, I hardly did any of the above. I mean, I did check Facebook and my blog stats a few times, and maybe texted a little, but for most of the day, I found busy work to do or just stared out of our front door. Matt asked me several times what was wrong, but I never really had an answer. I was just tired, I guess.

Towards the end of the work day, I decided I wanted to go see a movie. I needed to spend some time not in my world, time away from thinking about my book. Leah met up with me and we saw MegaMind. It was funny; a really cute movie. We got home around 10:45 I think. Maybe 11? Not really sure. But when I got home, I sat in my bed and opened my Mac so that I could start writing, even if only for a little while. Somehow, I ended up laying down, and as soon as my head hit the pillow, I was out.

I woke up at 2 something. My big light was still on and I will still wearing my clothes and contacts. Also, I was laying in a really weird position and my entire body felt tense.

What woke me up was the dream I had during that short period of time. I dreamt that everything I started, I couldn't finish for whatever reason; people kept coming in or tragedies were occuring or I just didn't think I could finish whatever it was. I was so frustrated.

I am pretty sure stress about finishing this book has finally gotten to me. I keep analyzing every detail I put into it and worry that it doesn't sound good or isn't interesting. I think that is what is keeping me back the most. Even though no one else is reading it, or has read it, I can not stop worrying how awful it is.

It's hard for me to just keep writing because I take anything that I do so seriously. I want to always be great at what I do and the truth is, I may not be. But even so, I set out doing this for fun and because I have always wanted to write a book. I wish I could take the advice I keep telling myself and "just write; don't worry about the details and flow of the book, you can fix it later." It's so hard though.

---

Here is a list of why I am already stressed today:
1. I have a ton of laundry that NEEDS to be done tonight so I can
2. Pack my bags for this weekend.
3. I NEED to clean out my nasty car because
4. Ash and I are leaving for North Augusta tomorrow after work.
5. We start our new Bible study tonight with our small group.
6. I have to run to Walmart for necessities.
7. I am so far behind in my word count that it's embarrassing. I need to type SOMETHING tonight.
8. And, there are some other personal things I could add to this list, but I won't.

Poor planning, Cassie. I am very disappointed.

NaNoWriMo Day 8

I have been hiding myself in shame because I am not writing like I should be. *hangs head low* Right now, I should be at 11,669 words and working towards 13,336. I am currently at 9,768.


I really need to buckle down and write. I am hoping for a sudden urge to write until I my fingers fall off, but it hasn't happened yet. I did, however, receive motivation one night from Emily because she promised a great surprise if I wrote 1,000 words within the hour. I succeeded, of course. :) And last night, I wrote 1,000 more words because of a threat made by Bubba. Again, I met the goal. I seem to work better when I have something hanging over my head.

---

In non-nano news, Emily found out she can't go with us to the NC beach anymore... her work did not approve her to have this Friday off. :/  My curse took a low blow with this one. I never plan things because somehow, the plans NEVER work out. But when we were planning this trip, everything seemed in line and nothing could get in the way. Wrong, once again, Cassie; you should know better than to plan anything too far in advance. So with Paige and Emily out, Shelly having to work, Blakeley having a test/her bf coming in town for the first time since he moved away, Leah already taking too much time off of work recently, and Bubba having school, it looks like it will be just Ashley and myself. And possibly Cody! If he doesn't have a test, my brother will get to join us, so that is a plus! :)

I think Laken (Ash's friend who lives up there) will be spending most of the weekend with us too. So we won't be completely alone. I am so excited! We are leaving after work on Thursday and staying the night at Blakeley's house in North Augusta. Then we're off to NC Friday morning!

My friend Donald (aka Bubba) started his very own blog last night. (Click here to read it!) Since he just started it, he only has one post, but I encourage you to go ahead and be one of his followers... it's going to be great! :)

NaNoWriMo Day 4

I have been sitting here, staring at this screen, and digging around in my brain for something interesting to say to you all. There has been a lot of that for me today. No worries, I made it past my word goal for today, but I have been staring at my screen in various locations and have not written a word since about 2:30. I don't know if it's that I'm not in the mood or just tired, but I haven't been all that productive. 


My brain is kind of on an overload because I changed one major thing in my story which requires medical research because I don't want to get things wrong. Luckily, Brandy explained most of it to me, but I still have to read up on it. I stayed up pretty late reading all about it and eventually passed out from exhaustion. I am not sure why I picked such a serious story to tell. I wish I would have picked something light and fun.


Everyone keeps telling me how excited they are to read my book and how awesome it is going to be, but I feel like they are getting their hopes up. This will not be a national best seller, trust me, and definitely not up to par in comparison to N.Sparks.


Ah, I feel so pessimistic. I need a mood uplifter.


---


As of right now, I have 14 followers. You are 16 away from my prologue! Come on guys, I know you each know someone who can easily become a follower.. you can do it!


And, if you do not know how to follow this blog (several people have asked me how to do it..) here is how: to follow me, stay on this page and scroll down a little... you'll see a "followers" box on the right side. click "follow" and it will prompt you to sign in with an account they have listed.. if you dont have one of those accounts, there is a link to create a new google account. it's fairly simple.

Leave a comment! 

Or don't. 

Whatever.

A proposal for a prologue.

I have a proposal to set on the table: I will post the prologue to my novel on my blog when I acquire 30 followers. (I am at 9 right now, so I just need 21 more!) Come on, guys... you can do it! :D




Thank you for the support!

NaNoWriMo Day 3

I just passed my word goal for the day! (Which is why I am allowing myself to type this blog post.) I am currently at 5,089 words!

I have been doing pretty well so far. I have gotten to my total word goal before the end of each day. I sure hope I can keep this momentum going. It does help that I have today and tomorrow off of work, giving me more time to write and get ahead.

If you read what I have written right now, you wouldn't think I was actually writing a novel. I have written chunks of the book but haven't connected any of them. I just finished writing a letter from one character to another. It's actually a really big part of the story, I hope I've done it justice.

As a treat for already reaching my goal for today, I think I will head to Starbucks to give myself a little caffeine boost so I can finish tomorrow's word goal by the end of today. ;)

Also, in exciting news (for me at least..), I got an email about the Microsoft Office incident and all I had to do was email someone with a few specifics about the purchase and product and they will be activating the PIN number within the next 24 hours. I will soon have a legitimate word processor to write my novel in! Yay for technology :)

NaNoWriMo Day 1

With the computer on my lap and notes to my left, I waited anxiously for the clock to strike midnight. In that first minute of November 2010, I typed the opening sentence of my very first novel. That first sentence is well written, if I say so myself. I can't, however, say the same for the rest of it.

After two hours of typing furiously, my eyes would no longer keep themselves open. I ended my first session with 960 words and an attitude of "what have I gotten myself into?!" I'm not really sure what I was expecting all these months since I signed up, but I can already sense a big challenge ahead of me. It is much harder than I thought it would be. I am trying to create a whole new world for people I hardly know yet; it's tough. The details matter and since I am not certain of what all is going to happen, it's hard to know what needs to be said. I guess that is what post editing is for.

I was trying to be good and not go back and read/fix the things I don't like (after all, this month is about writing, not editing), but it was so tempting. I already know it is a very rough rough draft. I will have to keep telling myself to not stop writing and that I will be able to fix it later (if it's even worthy enough for such an action).

There is a bit of research I will have to do for one of the main things in my story, so I may call on the help of Brandy and/or Shelly. They are in fact nurses and have the knowledge I will need for the basics of what is going to happen to one of the characters. (What is going to happen to them?!) Sorry, I can't reveal that at this time. :)


---


I wrote that at work earlier today. So, this is an update as of right now:


After work, I met Ash at Panera so she could play on her Mac while I wrote. I read her my prologue and she seemed to really like it. So I guess it is attention grabbing like I was hoping it would be. I also let Bubba and Jacob read it; they were encouraging so I won't give up just yet. ;)


I got stuck in the story at one point and didn't (and still don't!) know where to take it. At that point, I decided to start sort of in the middle at the event that take place just a couple of days before the time of the prologue. It seems to be coming along just fine I suppose. I'm thinking that writing from that point until the end will help me when I go back to the beginning. It may make it easier for me to see where the story is headed and will help me make a decision about what story I need to tell.


The reason I am even finishing this blog post right now is because I have officially reached my word goal for the day! I have actually surpassed it by a little bit. And, I am going to be writing into the night as much as I can. I hope I can keep this up and be ahead of schedule the whole month. It will make things a lot less stressful for me.


I think I am going to share the prologue with all of you guys in a week or two. I love being able to share my story, especially with anyone who reads my blog. It is precisely because of this blog that I even have the courage to share it, so you all deserve it.


Thank you for all of the support! :)




If you would like to keep up with my word count, here is the link to my NaNoWriMo page: click here for Cassie's WriMo page ... I'll update my word count after each little writing spurt, assuming I have internet at the time.


Okay, back to writing!